I Hated Being A Teenager


The first poem I wrote that mentioned Harry was 'I Hated Being a Teenager'.  As it happens, I didn't really hate it all that much - although I do feel now, looking back if you like, that I was rather too wrapped up in my music to 'enjoy' enough of the things teenagers enjoy (usually) as a matter of course!  For a start (sob, sob!) there wasn't half enough romance!!!  I flirted a bit, I'm told I made more than a few girls swoon by singing ballads to them around a piano (but was too dumb to notice!) and then...there was Kay.

Kay was a couple of years below me at school and played 2nd violin in the school orchestra.  I was absolutely besotted - it was her that inspired the composition of my first two songs ''The Way of the Stars' and 'Love You Til Eternity', both of which I wrote in the space of a week.  Kay messed my head up for the next seven years - and maybe in some respects I have never recovered fully.  When I wrote the poem - which, as I said, was pretty much in jest - it was only natural Kay got a verse; and one she shared with Nilsson.


I Hated being a Teenager!

It wasn't too much fun, I say

To go through all that growing up

Thinking you should win a cup

For being the coolest dude around -

And you think your voice is a wonderful sound


I hated all that 'go to bed' when something you like's on TV!

One pair of boobs and the tutting starts -

Why are we embarrassed by bodily parts?

Gorgeous Tracy B's were pert -

I saw them when they tumbled out of her shirt!

A school boy grin - is it a sin?

I hated being a teenager (but it had its moments!)


I hated Mrs Gilbert*, too (don't think she liked me either)!

She taught us for English and boring Geog.

With her face like a lemon and her voice like a frog


I hated being off my food when taken for a ride.

I learned the meaning of a song called 'Joy'

On an album by Nilsson I'd bought as a boy.

Kay was my 'Joy' - my confidence wilted.

Twice I went back and was twice more jilted.

Early to bed with guts like lead...

I hated being a teenager!


I hated finding the years were gone - ne'er a teenager again!

I woke up on day and found I was twenty,

From having no cares I now had plenty!

...and what was worst,

The youthful bubble I'd had had been burst

And now I'm a man - I carry the can!

Please can I be a teenager again?



* Not really - I just picked on Mrs Gilbert 'cos she used to pick on me a bit.  She knew I didn't like reading the rude bits in books (like 'The Chrysalids' - where she 'fixed' it that I had to say 'breasts' out loud!) or swearing (like in Billy Liar) - so she would save all those bits for me.  I got my own back by winning a class debate with a totally fictitious argument against vegetarianism - her husband was a veggie, I recall.  I invented a disease called 'Collaustatrategic Menaflorus' as a reason for why some people became vegetarians - she was most interested and thought her husband might, in fact, have it!  Geography was a bit boring - I preferred it with Mr Hollinshead (a.k.a. Evilc Ecneret**) - but, ultimately I got an A in English and am grateful to Mrs G for helping me achieve that!  I failed Geography, so paid for myself to re-sit it the next year - and passed!

**Clive Terence backwards! He was a good, fun and energetic teacher who had a unique way of administering classroom punishment.  Instead of a slipper or ruler he had 'the beard treatment'!  Details probably best left in the past!